Ravens Woop Pats - Rapid Reax

Yes this is going to be an incoherent rambling of epic and ridiculous proportions. And I will probably end up saying things here that will get my Patriots fan card revoked, but who cares at this point? Things can't get much worse.

  • First, the Pats lost their best secondary player Aqib Talib (or Aqua Taliban) to a pulled vagina after he was caught trying to remove his tampon mid play.
  • Don't worry though, Taliban would still contribute as his awesome cheerleader abilities almost made Kyle MFing Arrington an NFL level player....ALMOST.
  • Where the Hell was Vince Wilcock tonight? He wasn't big enough or black enough I'll tell you that (that ones for you, Rob Parker).
  • Welker can't catch when it matters, his career has been a case of the dropsies....I am pretty sure Belichick threw a big contract at him, he just dropped it so had to be franchised.
  • Stevan Ridley is out for the next two years with what 'may be' a concussion. According to Simms and Nance he needed to get tested because being brain dead on the way down is apparently not sufficient evidence (and that really was a borderline fumble call).
  • I hate Bernard Pollard - Belichick why have you never signed him and just not let him practice?
  • End of the half was awesome, Bill Belichick wins the Darwin Award for the stupidest coach ever not calling timeout with roughly 15 seconds left in the half.
  • Brady's best play was that Liu Kang Kung Fu kick to Ed Reed, that or being tackled by the Ravens 12th man, the ref.
  • Scoring 13 points is atrocious, anyone who blames the defense needs to be behind Ridley in the concussion test line.
  • I hate Bernard Pollard - Belichick SIGN HIM!
  • Wow, you mean if you have big physical receivers they can just go over defenders and get the ball?....I thought you wanted short white guys, or skinny black guys that go down on the outside by themselves and don't fight for the ball in the air.
  • Gronk just re-broke his arm - he will have surgery again later in the week.
  • Tom Brady says don't worry he'll do better against San Fran in two weeks....wait what?
  • Ray Lewis did nothing but get someone to take off his shoulder pads early.
  • Flacco is the new Eli Manning.
  • I hate Bernard Pollard and will pay someone one penny American currency to take him out.
  • McDaniels needs to be fired, this team didn't score the most in the league because of him, it was in spite of him.
  • Stephen Gregory is a combination of Devin McCourty and Kyle Arrington, but only their bad parts.
  • There will be no pictures in this rant because tomorrow I will go on pretending this game never happened and I never got my hopes up for this whack ass team.
  • Gisele, please divorce Tom. You deserve better, a winner even. And Tom will not be that while you are with him.
  • Please don't ask me who I am rooting for in the Super Bowl, I am rooting for a cataclysmic event in which both teams get locked away with Han Solo in carbonite.
  • Maybe I need to get in that concussion line, my head hurts.